I may hesitate to let you close enough
To see the green in my eyes
Flinching at your touch
Though I want to feel you by my side
Wanting to be held close
Yet fearing your hands holding me
It's not you I'm afraid of though
I'm just afraid of vulnerability
In my eyes you may see fear
The closer you get to me
Because the body remembers
What I try forgetting
It's the burden that I carry
So heavy to carry alone
Some days my heart is so weak and weary
Has trouble beating on it's own
You may never understand
All of my triggers and fears
Why I feel hurt and abandoned
Even if you are near
My tears may not make sense to you
But I'll need to be held through them all
Show me I can need you
Catching me if I fall
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Whole New Start
Who am I?
That’s a good question. Something I’m still trying to figure out.
I’m a single mom of two amazing, free spirited kids. But a mother is not all that I am. That I do know.
I was born and raised in Alabama but now live in Canada where I feel like I’m really supposed to be.
I find my passion in being creative. Whether it’s something I make, write, draw or a picture I take. That creative part of me has always been my therapy.
I’m a free spirited, wild at heart, rebel (so I’ve been told) with an empath’s soul.
I’m also a sexual abuse survivor with PTSD and social anxiety.
I’m broken and damaged but a total bada** finding my way to healing.
This blog started out as a way to track my journey to a healthier life. But along the way I discovered I would never truly be whole if I didn’t face the demons of my past. So I finally faced my past abuse which set me down a path I never imagined.
I don’t know where this journey will take me or how this blog will evolve. But I do know life has been doing a good job of working itself out and I’m just trying to stay out of the way and see where it leads me. There’s been so much darkness in my life but maybe along the way I’ll also find some light.
Thank you for joining me on my journey
Amber
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